musings of a "mature" teenager

so i had a slight epiphany today. though blatantly obvious, i realized today, that we are all so young. think about it: we are all like 17-18 and we know nothing. we act like we're wise and mature, but we're not. seriously, how many of you believe that you are a grown up and you are so different from all of the other highschool assholes? the truth is, you're not. essentially, we are all the same. we all believe that we are smarter or more mature or know more than the next person, when really we are all in the same place. true, we have been through a lot, some of us more than others, but that doesn't add up to shit. we are still so naiive and unprepared for life. god, we must look so ridiculous and stupid to our parents and everyone that age. we walk around stubbornly, role playing what we think it is to be grown up, but we're not grown ups everyone. we're just kids. we think we're these hardcore badasses who are too cool for school, but why? we don't know anything about life or being responsible. we're still babies everyone. like i said, an obvious conclusion on my part, but nonetheless, i feel i need to put it out there because im just so sick of everyone thinking that they're better than the next person because he/she believes they're more sophisticated. we're all babies. seniors, you're taking your first steps into the real world and you're all about to discover how life really works, but don't get fooled into thinking you know everything. you're still kids too. remember that next year when you're in college, talking about how lame highschool kids are. you, just like us highschool younguns, still have a lot to learn. i don't think anyone is truly a grown up until they're old and grey.

everyone has a best friend. Without one, we are lost. But what happens when your best friend forgets to be your best friend? I love him, i really do. I've known him since the day i was born. we grew up next door to eachother...until he moved away. we talk on the phone every night... and we go out to lunch every week. But lately it seems he doesnt care. he only partakes in the conversation when it relates to him. he interrupts me in the middle of a sentence to talk about himself. i dont talk bout myself a lot, but occassionaly i do, and on those occassions, i want him to listen. is that unreasonable? when im struggling, i need his opinion, his advice, and he doesnt share that with me anymore. he seems to be so wrapped up in himself that i just dont even matter anymore. and it hurts me because i just cant function without a best friend. and yes, ive tried to tell him all this, but he doesnt listen. its like he zones out when talk. he's jsut waiting for his turn to speak.


He hears what he wants to hear
and misses the words in between
He only sees what he wants to see
and I never seem to be seen
He tells me what he thinks I want to hear
he doesn’t believe his own voice
He acts as if I force him to care
as if he doesn’t have a choice
He doesn’t seem to even notice my words
if they don’t concern his love for himself
Anything else I have to say
Gets tucked away on the back of a shelf
It’s slightly upsetting and almost absurd
that he is my very best friend
I almost don’t trust him to care about me
because its all about him in the end
Maybe I’m selfish or falsely concerned
about his lack of compassion
Maybe he just doesn’t realize
that sometimes I need his attention
I listen to him carefully and try to understand
as I wait patiently for my turn
All I ask is that he does the same
and listen to me in return
There’s more than one person in any friendship
which he doesn’t seem to see
Its always about his problems, his life
but it can never be about me